關於 chinese new year traditions ，我們在網路上蒐集到這些相關的討論、資訊與評價

雖說您將離開台灣，但台灣永遠不會離開您！祝福酈英傑處長鵬程萬里！
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轉載 @美國在台協會 AIT 貼文

📝酈英傑處長給台灣人民的道別信
「隨著我擔任美國在台協會處長的日子即將畫下句點，我也即將離開台灣，我想藉這個機會和大家分享，這一番歷練對我來說的意義是什麼。當我說擔任AIT處長其實是我這輩子的榮幸，也讓我得以實現長期職業生涯中的抱負與理想，這麼說一點也不為過。
我19歲時第一次離開家鄉，就是來台灣。對年輕的我來說，從那時起，台灣就成了交流與理解、探索與冒險的同義詞。台灣不僅有著讓人眼花撩亂的異鄉風情，也代表著意想不到的嶄新機會。我在這裡嘗試新奇的食物，像是水餃和臭豆腐，並且學習如何在擠滿單車和機車的大街小巷穿梭自如。一方面，我努力用我粗淺的中文，讓別人聽懂我說的話；但同時我也發現，無論走到哪裡，迎接我的都是滿滿的親切友善與熱情好客。
因此，在成為美國外交官後，能夠以台灣作為我派駐海外的第一站，真是再適合不過了。畢竟，是台灣首先點燃了我對亞洲、尤其是台灣的畢生興趣，也激發了我對跨文化理解和共享目標——也就是外交工作——的終身熱忱。此後，我也曾派駐其他地點，多數是在大中華區域，但我的台灣經歷與回憶始終常存我心。最終我能以美國駐台最高層級外交官的身分回來這裡，可說是我多年職涯的高峰。顯然，我這一生注定與台灣有著深刻的連結，或者也叫作「緣分」吧，才會讓我一次又一次不斷地回到台灣。
常有人問我，為什麼我這麼喜歡台灣。我總覺得：「答案不是很明顯嗎？」不過如果一定要我從個人與專業的角度，解釋我對台灣的喜愛與敬佩之情，我通常會提到以下幾個領域：
首先，台灣兼具活力與穩定、進步與延承、還有創新與傳統。每次回到這裡，我都對台灣社會在各個方面日新月異的進步感到驚艷不已。台灣的民主更臻成熟，經濟益加蓬勃，環境保護更受關注，藝術文化發展也生生不息。
台灣在許多最先進的科技產業上持續為全球創新樹立標竿，但與此同時，台灣的社會穩定和文化傳承依舊令人欽羨佩服。儘管生活充裕且形象良好，台灣人民卻依然謙虛樸實、平易近人。在台灣，最古老的傳統薪火相傳、歷久彌新。文化和歷史古蹟受到妥善的修復與保護；年輕人也可以學習代代相傳的書法技巧，接著再把作品秀在Instagram上。
再者，對美國來說，台灣正是共享利益與共享價值交集的典範。美台夥伴關係的重點在於確保科技發展能夠嘉惠、而非傷害我們雙方的經濟，科技突破則應被用於鞏固、而不是破壞我們的原則。美台之間自由、多元、平等及透明等共享價值，時時激勵我們努力在世界各地打造民主社會的韌性。而我們也持續尋求新的方式，為解決全球問題做出貢獻，這麼做不僅是因為能夠造福我們自己的人民，也是因為我們相信，身為21世紀敦親睦鄰的好夥伴，就是該這麼做。
最後，每當我想到台灣、以及整體美台關係，我總會想到希望、光明和成長。美台的情誼在過去40年來不斷拓展與茁壯。我相信每任處長都會同意，他們離開台灣時的美台夥伴關係，比起他們剛上任時都更上一層樓。同樣的，當我向AIT告別的那一天，我的心中將充滿肯定與成就感，因為我知道，美台夥伴關係比以往都更加深刻和強健，我也對自己能為美台關係今天亮眼的進展小有貢獻，而深感驕傲。
但是，比起這些事情，我想我更難忘的是台灣在我生命中所留下的深刻印記。我永遠會記得我在台灣度過的第一個聖誕節，還有第一個農曆新年。我永遠會記得台灣朋友的真摯與溫暖、教會同伴堅定的信仰、炎炎夏日來一碗芒果冰的沁涼、資源回收車沿街播放《給愛麗絲》的回音，還有巷弄中撲鼻而來的茉莉花香，這些都會是我畢生珍藏的美好回憶之一。我也會記得好友間的餐聚、充滿歡笑和故事的夜晚、以及一路以來我受到過的無數的善意與關懷。我更會永遠記得，是各位台灣朋友們，你們以各種不同的方式，讓我和我家人的生命更加地豐盛美好。對此，我要衷心地謝謝大家。
雖然我將離開台灣，但台灣不會離開我。」
— 美國在台協會處長 酈英傑
✅信件全文亦可至AIT官網查看：https://bit.ly/2TSkLDF
📝A Farewell Letter from AIT Director W. Brent Christensen
"As my time as AIT Director draws to a close and I prepare to leave Taiwan, I want to take this opportunity to tell you what this experience has meant to me. It is not an exaggeration to say that this has been the honor of my life and the fulfillment of a career-long aspiration.
The first time I left my hometown at age 19, it was to come to Taiwan. From that early age, Taiwan became synonymous for me with the ideas of exchange and understanding, exploration and adventure. Taiwan represented both disorienting foreignness and unexpected opportunity, as I tried new food – like shuijiaos and qiu doufu – and learned to navigate my way through streets crowded with bicycles and scooters. And struggled to make myself understood with my rudimentary Mandarin. But all the while discovering the kindness and generosity that welcomed me wherever I went.
It felt appropriate for me to serve my first tour as a U.S. diplomat in the place that first sparked in me a lifelong interest in Asia – and in Taiwan in particular – and in cross-cultural understanding and shared purpose, or in other words, diplomacy. After that, my career took me to other places, but mostly still in the China region. But the memories of my experiences in Taiwan stayed with me. And finally having the opportunity to serve as the top U.S. diplomat to Taiwan was the culmination of all the years that came before. It is clear that I have a lifelong connection to Taiwan, or “yuanfen,” that has led me to return again and again.
People often ask me why I have such a fondness for Taiwan. “Isn’t it obvious?!” I always think. But when forced to explain my affection for and professional fascination with Taiwan, I usually come back to a few themes.
First, dynamism and constancy; progress and preservation; innovation and tradition. Every time I return to Taiwan, I am immediately struck by the many ways Taiwan has advanced as a society. Taiwan’s democracy grows more mature, its economy more prosperous, its environment more cared-for, and its arts and culture more vibrant.
Taiwan’s industry continues to set the benchmark for global innovation in some of the most sophisticated technologies, but at the same time, Taiwan society is remarkable for its stability and cultural continuity. Taiwan’s people, despite their relative wealth and stature, continue to be modest and unassuming. Taiwan’s most ancient traditions are alive and well. Cultural and historic sites are restored and preserved. Young people may learn calligraphy techniques handed down for generations, but then share their work on Instagram.
Second, for the United States, Taiwan exemplifies the intersection of shared interests and shared values. Our partnership is about making sure our economies are beneficiaries rather than casualties of technological development and ensuring that technological development advances rather than undermines our principles. Our shared values of freedom, diversity, equality, and transparency inspire our efforts to build the resilience of democracies around the world. And we continue to find new ways to contribute to global problem solving, both because it benefits our own peoples and because we share the belief that this is what it means to be a good neighbor in the 21st century.
Finally, I associate Taiwan – and the broader U.S.-Taiwan relationship – with hope, promise, and growth. This friendship has expanded and flourished over the past 40 years; I believe every person who has done this job walked away knowing they left this partnership better than they found it. I will similarly leave AIT with a sense of accomplishment and success, knowing that the U.S.-Taiwan partnership is deeper and stronger than ever, and feeling immensely proud of my small role in getting us there.
But more than any of these things, I will remember the ways that Taiwan has touched me personally. I will always remember my first Christmas in Taiwan – and my first Chinese New Year. I will remember the warmth of Taiwan friendship, the faith of my fellow church members, the taste of a mango bing on a hot summer day, the echo of “Fur Elise” from the recycling truck, the fragrance of jasmine blossoms in village alleyways – these are just some of the memories I will treasure. I will remember the long dinners with dear friends, full of laughter and stories. And I will remember their many kindnesses. I will remember all the ways big and small that you, the people of Taiwan, touched my life and the lives of my family. And for that, I thank you.
I may be leaving Taiwan, but Taiwan will never leave me. "
-- AIT Director William Brent Christensen
✅Read the letter: https://bit.ly/3hUrsgw

📝酈英傑處長給台灣人民的道別信

「隨著我擔任美國在台協會處長的日子即將畫下句點，我也即將離開台灣，我想藉這個機會和大家分享，這一番歷練對我來說的意義是什麼。當我說擔任AIT處長其實是我這輩子的榮幸，也讓我得以實現長期職業生涯中的抱負與理想，這麼說一點也不為過。

我19歲時第一次離開家鄉，就是來台灣。對年輕的我來說，從那時起，台灣就成了交流與理解、探索與冒險的同義詞。台灣不僅有著讓人眼花撩亂的異鄉風情，也代表著意想不到的嶄新機會。我在這裡嘗試新奇的食物，像是水餃和臭豆腐，並且學習如何在擠滿單車和機車的大街小巷穿梭自如。一方面，我努力用我粗淺的中文，讓別人聽懂我說的話；但同時我也發現，無論走到哪裡，迎接我的都是滿滿的親切友善與熱情好客。

因此，在成為美國外交官後，能夠以台灣作為我派駐海外的第一站，真是再適合不過了。畢竟，是台灣首先點燃了我對亞洲、尤其是台灣的畢生興趣，也激發了我對跨文化理解和共享目標——也就是外交工作——的終身熱忱。此後，我也曾派駐其他地點，多數是在大中華區域，但我的台灣經歷與回憶始終常存我心。最終我能以美國駐台最高層級外交官的身分回來這裡，可說是我多年職涯的高峰。顯然，我這一生注定與台灣有著深刻的連結，或者也叫作「緣分」吧，才會讓我一次又一次不斷地回到台灣。

常有人問我，為什麼我這麼喜歡台灣。我總覺得：「答案不是很明顯嗎？」不過如果一定要我從個人與專業的角度，解釋我對台灣的喜愛與敬佩之情，我通常會提到以下幾個領域：

首先，台灣兼具活力與穩定、進步與延承、還有創新與傳統。每次回到這裡，我都對台灣社會在各個方面日新月異的進步感到驚艷不已。台灣的民主更臻成熟，經濟益加蓬勃，環境保護更受關注，藝術文化發展也生生不息。

台灣在許多最先進的科技產業上持續為全球創新樹立標竿，但與此同時，台灣的社會穩定和文化傳承依舊令人欽羨佩服。儘管生活充裕且形象良好，台灣人民卻依然謙虛樸實、平易近人。在台灣，最古老的傳統薪火相傳、歷久彌新。文化和歷史古蹟受到妥善的修復與保護；年輕人也可以學習代代相傳的書法技巧，接著再把作品秀在Instagram上。

再者，對美國來說，台灣正是共享利益與共享價值交集的典範。美台夥伴關係的重點在於確保科技發展能夠嘉惠、而非傷害我們雙方的經濟，科技突破則應被用於鞏固、而不是破壞我們的原則。美台之間自由、多元、平等及透明等共享價值，時時激勵我們努力在世界各地打造民主社會的韌性。而我們也持續尋求新的方式，為解決全球問題做出貢獻，這麼做不僅是因為能夠造福我們自己的人民，也是因為我們相信，身為21世紀敦親睦鄰的好夥伴，就是該這麼做。

最後，每當我想到台灣、以及整體美台關係，我總會想到希望、光明和成長。美台的情誼在過去40年來不斷拓展與茁壯。我相信每任處長都會同意，他們離開台灣時的美台夥伴關係，比起他們剛上任時都更上一層樓。同樣的，當我向AIT告別的那一天，我的心中將充滿肯定與成就感，因為我知道，美台夥伴關係比以往都更加深刻和強健，我也對自己能為美台關係今天亮眼的進展小有貢獻，而深感驕傲。

但是，比起這些事情，我想我更難忘的是台灣在我生命中所留下的深刻印記。我永遠會記得我在台灣度過的第一個聖誕節，還有第一個農曆新年。我永遠會記得台灣朋友的真摯與溫暖、教會同伴堅定的信仰、炎炎夏日來一碗芒果冰的沁涼、資源回收車沿街播放《給愛麗絲》的回音，還有巷弄中撲鼻而來的茉莉花香，這些都會是我畢生珍藏的美好回憶之一。我也會記得好友間的餐聚、充滿歡笑和故事的夜晚、以及一路以來我受到過的無數的善意與關懷。我更會永遠記得，是各位台灣朋友們，你們以各種不同的方式，讓我和我家人的生命更加地豐盛美好。對此，我要衷心地謝謝大家。

雖然我將離開台灣，但台灣不會離開我。」

— 美國在台協會處長 酈英傑

✅信件全文亦可至AIT官網查看：https://bit.ly/2TSkLDF

📝A Farewell Letter from AIT Director W. Brent Christensen

"As my time as AIT Director draws to a close and I prepare to leave Taiwan, I want to take this opportunity to tell you what this experience has meant to me. It is not an exaggeration to say that this has been the honor of my life and the fulfillment of a career-long aspiration.

The first time I left my hometown at age 19, it was to come to Taiwan. From that early age, Taiwan became synonymous for me with the ideas of exchange and understanding, exploration and adventure. Taiwan represented both disorienting foreignness and unexpected opportunity, as I tried new food – like shuijiaos and qiu doufu – and learned to navigate my way through streets crowded with bicycles and scooters. And struggled to make myself understood with my rudimentary Mandarin. But all the while discovering the kindness and generosity that welcomed me wherever I went.

It felt appropriate for me to serve my first tour as a U.S. diplomat in the place that first sparked in me a lifelong interest in Asia – and in Taiwan in particular – and in cross-cultural understanding and shared purpose, or in other words, diplomacy. After that, my career took me to other places, but mostly still in the China region. But the memories of my experiences in Taiwan stayed with me. And finally having the opportunity to serve as the top U.S. diplomat to Taiwan was the culmination of all the years that came before. It is clear that I have a lifelong connection to Taiwan, or “yuanfen,” that has led me to return again and again.

People often ask me why I have such a fondness for Taiwan. “Isn’t it obvious?!” I always think. But when forced to explain my affection for and professional fascination with Taiwan, I usually come back to a few themes.

First, dynamism and constancy; progress and preservation; innovation and tradition. Every time I return to Taiwan, I am immediately struck by the many ways Taiwan has advanced as a society. Taiwan’s democracy grows more mature, its economy more prosperous, its environment more cared-for, and its arts and culture more vibrant.

Taiwan’s industry continues to set the benchmark for global innovation in some of the most sophisticated technologies, but at the same time, Taiwan society is remarkable for its stability and cultural continuity. Taiwan’s people, despite their relative wealth and stature, continue to be modest and unassuming. Taiwan’s most ancient traditions are alive and well. Cultural and historic sites are restored and preserved. Young people may learn calligraphy techniques handed down for generations, but then share their work on Instagram.

Second, for the United States, Taiwan exemplifies the intersection of shared interests and shared values. Our partnership is about making sure our economies are beneficiaries rather than casualties of technological development and ensuring that technological development advances rather than undermines our principles. Our shared values of freedom, diversity, equality, and transparency inspire our efforts to build the resilience of democracies around the world. And we continue to find new ways to contribute to global problem solving, both because it benefits our own peoples and because we share the belief that this is what it means to be a good neighbor in the 21st century.

Finally, I associate Taiwan – and the broader U.S.-Taiwan relationship – with hope, promise, and growth. This friendship has expanded and flourished over the past 40 years; I believe every person who has done this job walked away knowing they left this partnership better than they found it. I will similarly leave AIT with a sense of accomplishment and success, knowing that the U.S.-Taiwan partnership is deeper and stronger than ever, and feeling immensely proud of my small role in getting us there.

But more than any of these things, I will remember the ways that Taiwan has touched me personally. I will always remember my first Christmas in Taiwan – and my first Chinese New Year. I will remember the warmth of Taiwan friendship, the faith of my fellow church members, the taste of a mango bing on a hot summer day, the echo of “Fur Elise” from the recycling truck, the fragrance of jasmine blossoms in village alleyways – these are just some of the memories I will treasure. I will remember the long dinners with dear friends, full of laughter and stories. And I will remember their many kindnesses. I will remember all the ways big and small that you, the people of Taiwan, touched my life and the lives of my family. And for that, I thank you.

I may be leaving Taiwan, but Taiwan will never leave me. "

-- AIT Director William Brent Christensen

✅Read the letter: https://bit.ly/3hUrsgw

這是前些日子爆出已經被加拿大法院接理對藏傳佛教噶舉派法王的訟訴。（加拿大法院鏈接在此：https://www.bccourts.ca/jdb-txt/sc/21/09/2021BCSC0939cor1.htm?fbclid=IwAR2FLZlzmUIGTBaTuKPVchEqqngcE3Qy6G_C0TWNWVKa2ksbIYkVJVMQ8f8）

這位法王的桃色事件，我是幾年前才聽到。但，藏傳佛教的高層有這些性醜聞，我已經聽了幾十年。我以前的一位前女友也被一些堪布藉故上她的家摟抱過，也有一些活佛跟她表白。（這不只是她，其他地方我也聽過不少）

這是一個藏傳佛教裡面系統式的問題。

很多時候發生這種事情，信徒和教主往往都是說女方得不到寵而報仇，或者說她們也精神病，或者說她們撒謊。

我不排除有這種可能性，但，多過一位，甚至多位出來指證的時候，我是傾向於相信『沒有那麼巧這麼多有精神病的女人要撒謊來報仇』。

大寶法王的桃色事件，最先吹哨的是一位台灣的在家信徒，第二位是香港的女出家人，現在加拿大又多一位公開舉報上法庭。

對大寶法王信徒來說，這一次的比較麻煩，因為是有孩子的。（關於有孩子的，我早在法王的桃色事件曝光時，就有聽聞）

如果法庭勒令要驗證DNA，這對法王和他的信徒來說，會很尷尬和矛盾，因為做或不做，都死。

你若問我，我覺得『人數是有力量的』，同時我也覺得之後有更多的人站出來，是不出奇的。

我也藉此呼籲各方佛教徒，如果你們真的愛佛教，先別說批判，但如鴕鳥般不討論這些爭議，你是間接害了佛教。

（下面是我從加拿大法院鏈接拷貝下來的內容，當中有很多細節。）

Table of Contents

INTRODUCTION

BACKGROUND

ANALYSIS

A. The Spousal Support Claim in this Case

B. The Test to Amend Pleadings

C. Pleadings in Family Law Cases

D. The Legal Concept of a Marriage-Like Relationship

E. Is There a Reasonable Claim of a Marriage-Like Relationship?

F. Delay / Prejudice

CONCLUSION



INTRODUCTION
[1] The claimant applies to amend her notice of family claim to seek spousal support. At issue is whether the claimant’s allegations give rise to a reasonable claim she lived with the respondent in a marriage-like relationship, so as to give rise to a potential entitlement to spousal support under the Family Law Act, S.B.C. 2011, c. 25 (“FLA”).

[2] The facts alleged by the claimant do not fit within a traditional concept of marriage. The claimant does not allege that she and the respondent ever lived together. Indeed, she has only met the respondent in person four times: twice very briefly in a public setting; a third time in private, when she alleges the respondent sexually assaulted her; and a fourth and final occasion, when she informed the respondent she was pregnant with his child.

[3] The claimant’s case is that what began as a non-consensual sexual encounter evolved into a loving and affectionate relationship. That relationship occurred almost entirely over private text messages. The parties rarely spoke on the telephone, and never saw one another during the relationship, even over video. The claimant says they could not be together because the respondent is forbidden by his station and religious beliefs from intimate relationships or marriage. Nonetheless, she alleges, they formed a marriage-like relationship that lasted from January 2018 to January 2019.

[4] The respondent denies any romantic relationship with the claimant. While he acknowledges providing emotional and financial support to the claimant, he says it was for the benefit of the child the claimant told him was his daughter.

[5] The claimant’s proposed amendment raises a novel question: can a secret relationship that began on-line and never moved into the physical world be like a marriage? In my view, that question should be answered by a trial judge after hearing all of the evidence. The alleged facts give rise to a reasonable claim the claimant lived with the respondent in a marriage-like relationship. Accordingly, I grant the claimant leave to amend her notice of family claim.

BACKGROUND
[6] It should be emphasized that this is an application to amend pleadings only. The allegations by the claimant are presumed to be true for the purposes of this application. Those allegations have not been tested in a court of law.

[7] The respondent, Ogyen Trinley Dorje, is a high lama of the Karma Kagyu School of Tibetan Buddhism. He has been recognized and enthroned as His Holiness, the 17th Gyalwang Karmapa. Without meaning any disrespect, I will refer to him as Mr. Dorje in these reasons for judgment.

[8] Mr. Dorje leads a monastic and nomadic lifestyle. His true home is Tibet, but he currently resides in India. He receives followers from around the world at the Gyuto Monetary in India. He also travels the world teaching Tibetan Buddhist Dharma and hosting pujas, ceremonies at which Buddhists express their gratitude and devotion to the Buddha.

[9] The claimant, Vikki Hui Xin Han, is a former nun of Tibetan Buddhism. Ms. Han first encountered Mr. Dorje briefly at a large puja in 2014. The experience of the puja convinced Ms. Han she wanted to become a Buddhist nun. She met briefly with Mr. Dorje, in accordance with Kagyu traditions, to obtain his approval to become a nun.

[10] In October 2016, Ms. Han began a three-year, three-month meditation retreat at a monastery in New York State. Her objective was to learn the practices and teachings of the Kagyu Lineage. Mr. Dorje was present at the retreat twice during the time Ms. Han was at the monastery.

[11] Ms. Han alleges that on October 14, 2017, Mr. Dorje sexually assaulted her in her room at the monastery. She alleges that she became pregnant from the assault.

[12] After she learned that she was pregnant, Ms. Han requested a private audience with Mr. Dorje. In November 2017, in the presence of his bodyguards, Ms. Han informed Mr. Dorje she was pregnant with his child. Mr. Dorje initially denied responsibility; however, he provided Ms. Han with his email address and a cellphone number, and, according to Ms. Han, said he would “prepare some money” for her.

[13] Ms. Han abandoned her plan to become a nun, left the retreat and returned to Canada. She never saw Mr. Dorje again.

[14] After Ms. Han returned to Canada, she and Mr. Dorje began a regular communication over an instant messaging app called Line. They also exchanged emails and occasionally spoke on the telephone.

[15] The parties appear to have expressed care and affection for one another in these communications. I say “appear to” because it is difficult to fully understand the meaning and intentions of another person from brief text messages, especially those originally written in a different language. The parties wrote in a private shorthand, sharing jokes, emojis, cartoon portraits and “hugs” or “kisses”. Ms. Han was the more expressive of the two, writing more frequently and in longer messages. Mr. Dorje generally participated in response to questions or prompting from Ms. Han, sometimes in single word messages.

[16] Ms. Han deposes that she believed Mr. Dorje was in love with her and that, by January 2018, she and Mr. Dorje were living in a “conjugal relationship”.

[17] During their communications, Ms. Han expressed concern that her child would be “illegitimate”. She appears to have asked Mr. Dorje to marry her, and he appears to have responded that he was “not ready”.

[18] Throughout 2018, Mr. Dorje transferred funds in various denominations to Ms. Han through various third parties. Ms. Han deposes that these funds were:

a) $50,000 CDN to deliver the child and for postpartum care she was to receive at a facility in Seattle;

b) $300,000 CDN for the first year of the child’s life;

c) $20,000 USD for a wedding ring, because Ms. Han wrote “Even if we cannot get married, you must buy me a wedding ring”;

d) $400,000 USD to purchase a home for the mother and child.

[19] On June 19, 2018, Ms. Han gave birth to a daughter in Richmond, B.C.

[20] On September 17, 2018, Mr. Dorje wrote, ”Taking care of her and you are my duty for life”.

[21] Ms. Han’s expectation was that the parties would live together in the future. She says they planned to live together. Those plans evolved over time. Initially they involved purchasing a property in Toronto, so that Mr. Dorje could visit when he was in New York. They also discussed purchasing property in Calgary or renting a home in Vancouver for that purpose. Ms. Han eventually purchased a condominium in Richmond using funds provided by Mr. Dorje.

[22] Ms. Han deposes that the parties made plans for Mr. Dorje to visit her and meet the child in Richmond. In October 2018, however, Mr. Dorje wrote that he needed to “disappear” to Europe. He wrote:

I will definitely find a way to meet her

And you

Remember to take care of yourself if something happens

[23] The final plan the parties discussed, according to Ms. Han, was that Mr. Dorje would sponsor Ms. Han and the child to immigrate to the United States and live at the Kagyu retreat centre in New York State.

[24] In January 2019, Ms. Han lost contact with Mr. Dorje.

[25] Ms. Han commenced this family law case on July 17, 2019, seeking child support, a declaration of parentage and a parentage test. She did not seek spousal support.

[26] Ms. Han first proposed a claim for spousal support in October 2020 after a change in her counsel. Following an exchange of correspondence concerning an application for leave to amend the notice of family claim, Ms. Han’s counsel wrote that Ms. Han would not be advancing a spousal support claim. On March 16, 2020, counsel reversed course, and advised that Ms. Han had instructed him to proceed with the application.

[27] When this application came on before me, the trial was set to commence on June 7, 2021. The parties were still in the process of discoveries and obtaining translations for hundreds of pages of documents in Chinese characters.

[28] At a trial management conference on May 6, 2021, noting the parties were not ready to proceed, Madam Justice Walkem adjourned the trial to April 11, 2022.

ANALYSIS
A. The Spousal Support Claim in this Case
[29] To claim spousal support in this case, Ms. Han must plead that she lived with Mr. Dorje in a marriage-like relationship. This is because only “spouses” are entitled to spousal support, and s. 3 of the Family Law Act defines a spouse as a person who is married or has lived with another person in a marriage-like relationship:

3 (1) A person is a spouse for the purposes of this Act if the person

(a) is married to another person, or

(b) has lived with another person in a marriage-like relationship, and

(i) has done so for a continuous period of at least 2 years, or

(ii) except in Parts 5 [Property Division] and 6 [Pension Division], has a child with the other person.

[30] Because she alleges she has a child with Mr. Dorje, Ms. Han need not allege that the relationship endured for a continuous period of two years to claim spousal support; but she must allege that she lived in a marriage-like relationship with him at some point in time. Accordingly, she must amend the notice of family claim.

B. The Test to Amend Pleadings
[31] Given that the notice of trial has been served, Ms. Han requires leave of the court to amend the notice of family claim: Supreme Court Family Rule 8-1(1)(b)(i).

[32] A person seeking to amend a notice of family claim must show that there is a reasonable cause of action. This is a low threshold. What the applicant needs to establish is that, if the facts pleaded are proven at trial, they would support a reasonable claim. The applicant’s allegations of fact are assumed to be true for the purposes of this analysis. Cantelon v. Wall, 2015 BCSC 813, at para. 7-8.

[33] The applicant’s delay, the reasons for the delay, and the prejudice to the responding party are also relevant factors. The ultimate consideration is whether it would be just and convenient to allow the amendment. Cantelon, at para. 6, citing Teal Cedar Products Ltd. v. Dale Intermediaries Ltd. et al (1986), 19 B.C.L.R. (3d) 282.

C. Pleadings in Family Law Cases
[34] Supreme Court Family Rules 3-1(1) and 4-1(1) require that a claim to spousal support be pleaded in a notice of family claim in Form F3. Section 2 of Form F3, “Spousal relationship history”, requires a spousal support claimant to check the boxes that apply to them, according to whether they are or have been married or are or have been in a marriage-like relationship. Where a claimant alleges a marriage-like relationship, Form F3 requires that they provide the date on which they began to live together with the respondent in a marriage-like relationship and, where applicable, the date on which they separated. Form F3 does not require a statement of the factual basis for the claim of spousal support.

[35] In this case, Ms. Han seeks to amend the notice of family claim to allege that she and Mr. Dorje began to live in a marriage-like relationship in or around January 2018, and separated in or around January 2019.

[36] An allegation that a person lived with a claimant in a marriage-like relationship is a conclusion of law, not an allegation of fact. Unlike the rules governing pleadings in civil actions, however, the Supreme Court Family Rules do not expressly require family law claimants to plead the material facts in support of conclusions of law.

[37] In other words, there is no express requirement in the Supreme Court Family Rules that Ms. Han plead the facts on which she relies for the allegation she and Mr. Dorje lived in a marriage-like relationship.

[38] Rule 4-6 authorizes a party to demand particulars, and then apply to the court for an order for further and better particulars, of a matter stated in a pleading. However, unless and until she is granted leave and files the proposed amended notice of family claim, Ms. Han’s allegation of a marriage-like relationship is not a matter stated in a pleading.

[39] Ms. Han filed an affidavit in support of her application to amend the notice of family claim. Normally, evidence would not be required or admissible on an application to amend a pleading. However, in the unusual circumstances of this case, the parties agreed I may look to Ms. Han’s affidavit and exhibits for the facts she pleads in support of the allegation of a marriage-like relationship.

[40] Because this is an application to amend - and Ms. Han’s allegations of fact are presumed to be true - I have not considered Mr. Dorje’s responding affidavit.

[41] Relying on affidavit evidence for an application to amend pleadings is less than ideal. It tends to merge and confuse the material facts with the evidence that would be relied on to prove those facts. In a number of places in her affidavit, for example, Ms. Han describes her feelings, impressions and understandings. A person’s hopes and intentions are not normally material facts unless they are mutual or reasonably held. The facts on which Ms. Han alleges she and Mr. Dorje formed a marriage-like relationship are more important for the present purposes than her belief they entered into a conjugal union.

[42] Somewhat unusually, in this case, almost all of the parties’ relevant communications were in writing. This makes it somewhat easier to separate the facts from the evidence; however, as stated above, it is difficult to understand the intentions and actions of a person from brief text messages.

[43] In my view, it would be a good practice for applicants who seek to amend their pleadings in family law cases to provide opposing counsel and the court with a schedule of the material facts on which they rely for the proposed amendment.

D. The Legal Concept of a Marriage-Like Relationship
[44] As Mr. Justice Myers observed in Mother 1 v. Solus Trust Company, 2019 BCSC 200, the concept of a marriage-like relationship is elastic and difficult to define. This elasticity is illustrated by the following passage from Yakiwchuk v. Oaks, 2003 SKQB 124, quoted by Myers J. at para. 133 of Mother 1:

[10] Spousal relationships are many and varied. Individuals in spousal relationships, whether they are married or not, structure their relationships differently. In some relationships there is a complete blending of finances and property - in others, spouses keep their property and finances totally separate and in still others one spouse may totally control those aspects of the relationship with the other spouse having little or no knowledge or input. For some couples, sexual relations are very important - for others, that aspect may take a back seat to companionship. Some spouses do not share the same bed. There may be a variety of reasons for this such as health or personal choice. Some people are affectionate and demonstrative. They show their feelings for their “spouse” by holding hands, touching and kissing in public. Other individuals are not demonstrative and do not engage in public displays of affection. Some “spouses” do everything together - others do nothing together. Some “spouses” vacation together and some spend their holidays apart. Some “spouses” have children - others do not. It is this variation in the way human beings structure their relationships that make the determination of when a “spousal relationship” exists difficult to determine. With married couples, the relationship is easy to establish. The marriage ceremony is a public declaration of their commitment and intent. Relationships outside marriage are much more difficult to ascertain. Rarely is there any type of “public” declaration of intent. Often people begin cohabiting with little forethought or planning. Their motivation is often nothing more than wanting to “be together”. Some individuals have chosen to enter relationships outside marriage because they did not want the legal obligations imposed by that status. Some individuals have simply given no thought as to how their relationship would operate. Often the date when the cohabitation actually began is blurred because people “ease into” situations, spending more and more time together. Agreements between people verifying when their relationship began and how it will operate often do not exist.

[45] In Mother 1, Mr. Justice Myers referred to a list of 22 factors grouped into seven categories, from Maldowich v. Penttinen, (1980), 17 R.F.L. (2d) 376 (Ont. Dist. Ct.), that have frequently been cited in this and other courts for the purpose of determining whether a relationship was marriage-like, at para. 134 of Mother 1:

1. Shelter:

(a) Did the parties live under the same roof?

(b) What were the sleeping arrangements?

(c) Did anyone else occupy or share the available accommodation?

2. Sexual and Personal Behaviour:

(a) Did the parties have sexual relations? If not, why not?

(b) Did they maintain an attitude of fidelity to each other?

(c) What were their feelings toward each other?

(d) Did they communicate on a personal level?

(e) Did they eat their meals together?

(f) What, if anything, did they do to assist each other with problems or during illness?

(g) Did they buy gifts for each other on special occasions?

3. Services:

What was the conduct and habit of the parties in relation to:

(a) preparation of meals;

(b) washing and mending clothes;

(c) shopping;

(d) household maintenance; and

(e) any other domestic services?

4. Social:

(a) Did they participate together or separately in neighbourhood and community activities?

(b) What was the relationship and conduct of each of them toward members of their respective families and how did such families behave towards the parties?

5. Societal:

What was the attitude and conduct of the community toward each of them and as a couple?

6. Support (economic):

(a) What were the financial arrangements between the parties regarding the provision of or contribution toward the necessaries of life (food, clothing, shelter, recreation, etc.)?

(b) What were the arrangements concerning the acquisition and ownership of property?

(c) Was there any special financial arrangement between them which both agreed would be determinant of their overall relationship?

7. Children:

What was the attitude and conduct of the parties concerning children?

[46] In Austin v. Goerz, 2007 BCCA 586, the Court of Appeal cautioned against a “checklist approach”; rather, a court should "holistically" examine all the relevant factors. Cases like Molodowich provide helpful indicators of the sorts of behaviour that society associates with a marital relationship, the Court of Appeal said; however, “the presence or absence of any particular factor cannot be determinative of whether a relationship is marriage-like” (para. 58).

[47] In Weber v. Leclerc, 2015 BCCA 492, the Court of Appeal again affirmed that there is no checklist of characteristics that will be found in all marriages and then concluded with respect to evidence of intentions:

[23] The parties’ intentions – particularly the expectation that the relationship will be of lengthy, indeterminate duration – may be of importance in determining whether a relationship is “marriage-like”. While the court will consider the evidence expressly describing the parties’ intentions during the relationship, it will also test that evidence by considering whether the objective evidence is consonant with those intentions.

[24] The question of whether a relationship is “marriage-like” will also typically depend on more than just their intentions. Objective evidence of the parties’ lifestyle and interactions will also provide direct guidance on the question of whether the relationship was “marriage-like”.

[48] Significantly for this case, the courts have looked to mutual intent in order to find a marriage-like relationship. See, for example, L.E. v. D.J., 2011 BCSC 671 and Buell v. Unger, 2011 BCSC 35; Davey Estate v. Gruyaert, 2005 CarswellBC 3456 at 13 and 35.

[49] In Mother 1, Myers J. concluded his analysis of the law with the following learned comment:

[143] Having canvassed the law relating to the nature of a marriage-like relationship, I will digress to point out the problematic nature of the concept. It may be apparent from the above that determining whether a marriage-like relationship exists sometimes seems like sand running through one's fingers. Simply put, a marriage-like relationship is akin to a marriage without the formality of a marriage. But as the cases mentioned above have noted, people treat their marriages differently and have different conceptions of what marriage entails.

[50] In short, the determination of whether the parties in this case lived in a marriage-like relationship is a fact-specific inquiry that a trial judge would need to make on a “holistic” basis, having regard to all of the evidence. While the trial judge may consider the various factors listed in the authorities, those factors would not be treated as a checklist and no single factor or category of factors would be treated as being decisive.

E. Is There a Reasonable Claim of a Marriage-Like Relationship?
[51] In this case, many of the Molodowich factors are missing:

a) The parties never lived under the same roof. They never slept together. They were never in the same place at the same time during the relationship. The last time they saw each other in person was in November 2017, before the relationship began.

b) The parties never had consensual sex. They did not hug, kiss or hold hands. With the exception of the alleged sexual assault, they never touched one another physically.

c) The parties expressed care and affection for one another, but they rarely shared personal information or interest in their lives outside of their direct topic of communication. They did not write about their families, their friends, their religious beliefs or their work.

d) They expressed concern and support for one another when the other felt unwell or experienced health issues, but they did not provide any care or assistance during illness or other problems.

e) They did not assist one another with domestic chores.

f) They did not share their relationship with their peers or their community. There is no allegation, for example, that Mr. Dorje told his fellow monks or any of his followers about the relationship. There is no allegation that Ms. Han told her friends or any co-workers. Indeed, there is no allegation that anyone, with the exception of Ms. Han’s mother, knew about the relationship. Although Mr. Dorje gave Ms. Han’s mother a gift, he never met the mother and he never spoke to her.

g) They did not intend to have a child together. The child was conceived as a result of a sexual assault. While Mr. Dorje expressed interest in “meeting” the child, he never followed up. He currently has no relationship with the child. There is no allegation he has sought access or parenting arrangements.

[52] The only Molodowich factor of any real relevance in this case is economic support. Mr. Dorje provided the funds with which Ms. Han purchased a condominium. Mr. Dorje initially wrote that he wanted to buy a property with the money, but, he wrote, “It’s the same thing if you buy [it]”.

[53] Mr. Dorje also provided a significant amount of money for Ms. Han’s postpartum care and the child’s first year of life.

[54] This financial support may have been primarily for the benefit of the child. Even the condominium, Ms. Han wrote, was primarily for the benefit of the child.

[55] However, in my view, a trial judge may attach a broader significance to the financial support from Mr. Dorje than child support alone. A trial judge may find that the money Mr. Dorje provided to Ms. Han at her request was an expression of his commitment to her in circumstances in which he could not commit physically. The money and the gifts may be seen by the trial judge to have been a form of down payment by Mr. Dorje on a promise of continued emotional and financial support for Ms. Han, or, in Mr. Dorje’s own words, “Taking care of her and you are my duty for life” (emphasis added).

[56] On the other hand, I find it difficult to attach any particular significance to the fact that Mr. Dorje agreed to provide funds for Ms. Han to purchase a wedding ring. It appears to me that Ms. Han demanded that Mr. Dorje buy her a wedding ring, not that the ring had any mutual meaning to the parties as a marriage symbol. But it is relevant, in my view, that Mr. Dorje provided $20,000 USD to Ms. Han for something she wanted that was of no benefit to the child.

[57] Further, Ms. Han alleges that the parties intended to live together. At a minimum, a trial judge may find that the discussions about where Ms. Han and the child would live reflected a mutual intention of the parties to see one another and spend time together when they could.

[58] Mr. Dorje argues that an intention to live together at some point in the future is not sufficient to show that an existing relationship was marriage-like. He argues that the question of whether the relationship was marriage-like requires more than just intentions, citing Weber, supra.

[59] In my view, the documentary evidence referred to above provides some objective evidence in this case that the parties progressed beyond mere intentions. As stated, the parties appear to have expressed genuine care and affection for one another. They appear to have discussed marriage, trust, honesty, finances, mutual obligations and acquiring family property. These are not matters one would expect Mr. Dorje to discuss with a friend or a follower, or even with the mother of his child, without a marriage-like element of the relationship.

[60] A trial judge may find on the facts alleged by Ms. Han that the parties loved one another and would have lived together, but were unable to do so because of Mr. Dorje’s religious duties and nomadic lifestyle.

[61] The question I raised in the introduction to these reasons is whether a relationship that began on-line and never moved into the physical world can be marriage-like.

[62] Notably, the definition of a spouse in the Family Law Act does not require that the parties live together, only that they live with another person in a marriage-like relationship.

[63] In Connor Estate, 2017 BCSC 978, Mr. Justice Kent found that a couple that maintained two entirely separate households and never lived under the same roof formed a marriage-like relationship. (Connor Estate was decided under the intestacy provisions of the Wills, Estates and Succession Act, S.B.C. 2009, c. 13 ("WESA"), but courts have relied on cases decided under WESA and the FLA interchangeably for their definitions of a spouse.) Mr. Justice Kent found:

[50] The evidence is overwhelming and I find as a fact that Mr. Chambers and Ms. Connor loved and cared deeply about each other, and that they had a loving and intimate relationship for over 20 years that was far more than mere friendship or even so-called "friendship with benefits". I accept Mr. Chambers' evidence that he would have liked to share a home with Ms. Connor after the separation from his wife, but was unable to do so because of Ms. Connor's hoarding illness. The evidence amply supports, and I find as a fact, that Mr. Chambers and Ms. Connor loved each other, were faithful to each other, communicated with each other almost every day when they were not together, considered themselves to be (and presented themselves to be) "husband and wife" and were accepted by all who knew them as a couple.

[64] Connor Estate may be distinguishable from this case because Mr. Chambers and Ms. Connor were physically intimate for over 20 years, and presented themselves to the world as a married couple.

[65] Other decisions in which a marriage-like relationship has been found to exist despite the parties not living together have involved circumstances in which the couple lived under the same roof at previous points in the relationship, and the issue was whether they continued to be spouses after they took up separate residences: in Thompson v. Floyd, 2001 BCCA 78, the parties had lived together for a period of at least 11 years; in Roach v. Dutra, 2010 BCCA 264, the parties had lived together for approximately three years.

[66] However, as Mr. Justice Kent noted in Connor Estate:

[48] … [W]hile much guidance might be found in this case law, the simple fact is that no two cases are identical (and indeed they usually vary widely) and it is the assessment of evidence as a whole in this particular case which matters.

[67] Mr. Justice Kent concluded:

[53] Like human beings themselves, marriage-like relationships can come in many and various shapes. In this particular case, I have no doubt that such a relationship existed …

[68] As stated, Ms. Han’s claim is novel. It may even be weak. Almost all of the traditional factors are missing. The fact that Ms. Han and Mr. Dorje never lived under the same roof, never shared a bed and never even spent time together in person will militate against a finding they lived with one another in a marriage-like relationship. However, the traditional factors are not a mandatory check-list that confines the “elastic” concept of a marriage-like relationship. And if the COVID pandemic has taught us nothing else, it is that real relationships can form, blossom and end in virtual worlds.

[69] In my view, the merits of Ms. Han’s claim should be decided on the evidence. Subject to an overriding prejudice to Mr. Dorje, she should have leave to amend the notice of family claim. However, she should also provide meaningful particulars of the alleged marriage-like relationship.

F. Delay / Prejudice
[70] Ms. Han filed her notice of family claim on July 17, 2019. She brought this application to amend approximately one year and nine months after she filed the pleading, just over two months before the original trial date.

[71] Ms. Han’s delay was made all that more remarkable by her change in position from January 19, 2021, when she confirmed, through counsel, that she was not seeking spousal support in this case.

[72] Ms. Han gave notice of her intention to proceed with this application to Mr. Dorje on March 16, 2021. By the time the application was heard, the parties had conducted examinations for discovery without covering the issues that would arise from a claim of spousal support.

[73] Also, in April, Ms. Han produced additional documents, primarily text messages, that may be relevant to her claim of spousal support, but were undecipherable to counsel for Mr. Dorje, who does not read Mandarin.

[74] This application proceeded largely on documents selected and translated by counsel for Ms. Han. I was informed that Mandarin translations of the full materials would take 150 days.

[75] Understandably in the circumstances, Mr. Dorje argued that an amendment two months before trial would be neither just nor convenient. He argued that he would be prejudiced by an adjournment so as to allow Ms. Han to advance a late claim of spousal support.

[76] The circumstances changed on May 6, 2021, when Madam Justice Walkem adjourned the trial to July 2022 and reset it for 25 days. Madam Justice Walkem noted that most of the witnesses live internationally and require translators. She also noted that paternity may be in issue, and Mr. Dorje may amend his pleadings to raise that issue. It seems clear that, altogether apart from the potential spousal support claim, the parties were not ready to proceed to trial on June 7, 2021.

[77] In my view, any remaining prejudice to Mr. Dorje is outweighed by the importance of having all of the issues between the parties decided on their merits.

[78] Ms. Han’s delay and changes of position on spousal support may be a matter to de addressed in a future order of costs; but they are not grounds on which to deny her leave to amend the notice of family claim.

CONCLUSION
[79] Ms. Han is granted leave to amend her notice of family claim in the form attached as Appendix A to the notice of application to include a claim for spousal support.

[80] Within 21 days, or such other deadline as the parties may agree, Ms. Han must provide particulars of the marriage-like relationship alleged in the amended notice of family claim.

[81] Ms. Han is entitled to costs of this application in the cause of the spousal support claim.

“Master Elwood”

You’ve seen my house decorations, now it’s time to dress up! For this year’s Chinese New Year, we’re going big with not just one dress, but 15 - one for each day of the celebrations! I also wanted to share some of the traditions we do for the Chinese New Year. I’ve got one of my favourite angpao from Cartier to give out to all my single friends and family members. I also had to have my treasure boxes, Táohuā trees, and of course, hotpot!

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