【德多少,就得多少】
YOUR VIRTUES DETERMINE HOW MUCH YOU GET
最近家附近有建築工地,噪音多了。
客人聽我的聲音不會有問題,因為我的耳機有麥克風,但如果他們不戴有麥克風的耳機,我聽他們的聲音會比較辛苦。
幾天前,為一位年輕的保險經紀通過Zoom批八字。
他進入Zoom會議室後,呆看著我。
我微笑看著他,故意不出聲,觀察著他。
幾秒後,他才粗魯的說:「哈囉?!」
奇怪了,貴為一個保險經紀,見人應該無數,打招呼的方式,怎能這麼粗俗?我阿姨阿伯級的客人,雖不常用Zoom,都比他懂禮貌。
我馬上回:「X先生,您好。您進來會議室,怎麼打招呼這麼粗俗?」
「我一向來都是這樣先哈囉,有聲音我才正式打招呼。」
「我倒是從來不會這樣。」
其實,這是個人修養的問題。
「你沒有讀我發給你的貼文嗎?為何你視訊沒有戴耳機?」
「我一向來Zoom都是這樣,沒有戴耳機。我以為你只是建議而已,不一定要戴。」
「我在貼文裡寫關於戴耳機的理由,你覺得不成立嗎?」
他想了幾秒,回:「是成立的。」
「我們都是提供服務的人。客人找我們,需要三大元素。第一個,就是同理心。你沒有同理心,難怪你說你的客人寧願聽別人說,也不信你說。」
「如果你要我戴,我現在就戴。」
他講完後,依然坐在那裡看著我,一動也不動。
後來,我說了幾句,他肯戴上耳機後,藍牙耳機也並沒操作好。
等了我一個月,這麼簡單的事情都不願事先做好。
看著他理直氣壯的模樣,頓時覺得他很可憐。
貴人坐在他面前,他說的一大堆話,都是以「自我」為出發點,完全不懂得「以和為貴」的道理。這不就是親手把貴人轟出門嗎?
「你這樣講話,就算講贏了,你真的贏了嗎?」
換成我是他的客人,我絕不會向他買保險,因為很明顯這不是一位真心為別人著想的保險經紀人。
那天,雖為他看八字,該說的我都有說,但我依然保留許多。
因為他缺德。
許多人把「德」看得很輕,覺得沒做壞事就是好人。事實上,不按照別人合理的要求做事,蓄意破壞規則,只顧自己,也是沒有德行可言。
有些人會吐槽,哎呀你學佛的人,要慈悲,何必跟他計較?不要著相!
我不是在意氣用事。
沒有智慧的慈悲,會害死人的。
祖師有訓 - 看命本來就是依客人的福德多寡,而賜福。品行不端的人,承受不起更多的福報,反而會遭反噬。再說了,對貴人都不好的人,對沒有利用價值的人就會更善良嗎?
不是捐錢的,就一定是好人,什麼事情都是要用心才算。
每個人都想要與眾不同,可是如果你的所作所為和一般人一樣,沒有比他們做得更好,那你的命格只配拿得起一般的命運。
不要迷信,以為什麼都是人家為難你,就跑去求神拜佛要打小人。我們命運裡的每一個障礙,每一粒石頭,都是自己放進去的。
你不改,障礙物就不會移。
在這裡聲明:沒有麥克風耳機的Zoom客人,我一概會取消諮詢,進行退款,沒得商量,沒得瞎掰。
能突然放假,真是太過癮了!
——————————————————
Recently, a construction site sprouted up beside my place, creating a lot of noise every day.
Zoom clients wouldn’t have a problem hearing me, but if they do not have a earpiece with a mic, I would have a problem hearing them.
Few days ago, I did a Bazi analysis for a young Insurance Agent via Zoom.
After he entered my Zoom meeting room, he looked at me blankly.
I smiled at him, deliberately staying quiet, and observed him.
Few seconds later, he said bluntly, “Hello?!”
How strange that an insurance agent, who probably have met tons of people, would greet in such an abrupt manner. My middle-aged clients, who rarely use Zoom, have better etiquette than him.
I replied instantly, “Hi, Mr X. Why is your greeting so crude, upon entering this meeting room?”
“I always say hello like this and wait to hear a reply, before I greet officially.”
“I never do that.”
Actually, this demonstrates the refinement of a person.
“Did you not read the post I sent you? Why are you not wearing a earpiece?”
“All along, I do Zooms in this manner without a earpiece. I thought it’s just a suggestion from you and it was not mandatory.”
“I wrote about the reason for clients to wear a earpiece. Do you find it invalid?”
He pondered for a few seconds and replied, “It’s valid.”
“We are both service providers. Clients look for us based on three main qualities. The first being the quality of empathy. You lack empathy and it’s no wonder you say your clients rather listen to others and not trust you as much.”
“If you want me to wear, then I will wear it now”
And he sat there looking at me, not moving an inch.
When he finally put on his ear pods, they did not operate well either.
It’s peculiar how despite a month of waiting for me, he was slow to get this simple thing done right.
Seeing how “self-assured” he was, for a brief moment, I find his behaviour pitiful.
His benefactor was sitting right in front of him, yet his words remained self-serving, totally oblivious to what harmony is about. Wasn’t this sending your benefactor straight out of the door?
“Even if you gain an upper hand talking like this, have you really won?
I would never buy insurance from such an agent, as obviously he was not the considerate kind.
I still read his Bazi that day, said what I should but there were also a lot I did not reveal.
Because he is lacking in virtues.
Many people think lightly of virtues. They assumed that if they do no evil deed, they are virtuous humans. Fact is, if you do not follow the reasonable requirements of other people, deliberately breaking the rules for your own gain, you have no virtue to speak of.
Some naysayers will tell me, but hey you are a practicing Buddhist, so you should exercise your compassion and not be bothered with his behaviour! Don’t get attached to external form!
This isn’t about me.
Compassion without wisdom brings more harm than good.
Since ancient times, it is a rule of thumb that we practitioners allocate good fortune to clients, based on their conduct and luck.
A person with undesirable conduct is unable to bear greater fortune, or there will be adverse consequences. Moreover, if a person is unkind to his benefactor, it is very unlikely that he will be kinder to another person with no value to him.
You can’t define a person as a good man, just because he is willing to donate money. We got to look at how he uses his heart.
Everybody wants to be special and different from others. But if what you are doing is the same as other people, nowhere better than them, then you can only carry a mediocre Destiny.
Don’t be superstitious to think that everybody is out to get you, and you go running to the temples or Feng Shui masters to chase away the villains.
Every obstacle in our destiny, every little stone that trips us, is placed in our lives by no other person but ourselves.
If you do not change, the obstacle isn’t going to budge either.
And here’s an official note: For any Zoom client that does not wear a earpiece with a microphone, I will cancel the consultation and give you a refund.
Having off days out of the blue are so much more fun!
同時也有2部Youtube影片,追蹤數超過10萬的網紅Khalil Fong 方大同,也在其Youtube影片中提到,#TWIOCAMIC #KhalilFong #FuMusic #賦音樂 "One planet, one people” 「地球子民,世界大同」 ? 數位收聽/Stream on: ’TWIOCAMIC‘: https://KhalilFong.lnk.to/ ============...
「lack of empathy」的推薦目錄:
- 關於lack of empathy 在 謙預 Qianyu.sg Facebook 的精選貼文
- 關於lack of empathy 在 Facebook 的最佳解答
- 關於lack of empathy 在 Eric's English Lounge Facebook 的最佳貼文
- 關於lack of empathy 在 Khalil Fong 方大同 Youtube 的精選貼文
- 關於lack of empathy 在 Joanna Soh Official Youtube 的精選貼文
- 關於lack of empathy 在 Signs they lack empathy. - YouTube 的評價
lack of empathy 在 Facebook 的最佳解答
1 tahun merogol dan mencederakan anak dan adik sendiri. Jangan nak salahkan mangsa unless you bukan waras.
Kesian that girl. Musnah kehidupan. Trauma buat selama lamanya. 😭
Binatang pun tak rogol anak sendiri. What has happened to this world?
For those who say animals do it too- ‘rape’ that is by intention to harm and for pleasure of the rapist - is a human attribute.
Animals may do it to : COPULATE. Increase offspring. Or by accident. The intention is totally different and therefore it is not called ‘rape’ as such. Animals do not KNOW boundaries and empathy and lack the knowledge. Mankind do.
The solution: protect women. Stop abusing women. Stop watching porn. Lower your gaze. 🤲🏻 Use your strength to build a strong family. Have self respect. ❤️
lack of empathy 在 Eric's English Lounge Facebook 的最佳貼文
[翻轉視界] Pandemic Bullies?
Bullies __________ empathy and have four personality traits—called the Dark Tetrad—that often occur together.
霸凌者缺乏同情心和具有四種人格特質,即「黑暗四聯征」 (Dark Tetrad),這些特質經常同時出現。
★★★★★★★★★★★★
文章來自《華爾街日報》:
People tried to push each other around before the pandemic. But lately it seems as if the bullies are taking over. Constant fear and anxiety fuel anger. The move of many of our interactions online means we are having less face-to-face communication; psychologists have long known that this decreases empathy, while anonymity—or the illusion of it—makes it easier to misbehave. And in a time of deep polarization, the tone of public discourse has grown more antagonistic.
1. bully (n.) 霸凌者
2. take over 接管,佔領
3. constant fear 持續的恐懼
4. fuel anger 激起憤怒;fuel (v.) 加劇,激起
5. psychologist 心理學家
6. face-to-face communication面對面的溝通
7. decrease empathy 降低同理心
8. anonymity (n.) 匿名
9. the illusion of …的假象
10. a time of deep polarization 兩極分化的時局
11. public discourse公眾的表述
12. antagonistic 敵對的
在疫情大流行之前人們相互鞭策前進,但近來霸凌行為似乎正接管局面。 無盡的恐懼與焦慮激起了憤怒。 許多互動轉移至線上,這意味著我們面對面的交流減少了; 心理學家對此早有所見,這樣的轉變會減少同理心,而匿名(或匿名的假象)使人們更易犯錯。 在這兩極分化的時局,公眾的表述越來越具有敵對性。
★★★★★★★★★★★★
A bully is someone who tries to intimidate another person, often repeatedly, whom he or she sees as weak or vulnerable. According to psychologists, bullies have four personality traits—called the Dark Tetrad—that often occur together: Machiavellianism, which is a tendency to calculatedly manipulate others for your own good; psychopathy, an attribute that includes a lack of empathy and a willingness to take risks; sadism, the propensity to derive pleasure from inflicting pain on someone else; and narcissism, an obsession with self and feeling that you are better than other people.
13. intimidate(v.) 恫嚇,恐嚇
14. personality traits 人格特質
15. tetrad 四分體 (Dark Triad 黑暗人格三合一)
16. Machiavellianism 馬基雅弗利主義的,為奪取權力而不擇手段的
17. a tendency to 一個傾向
18. manipulate others 操縱他人
19. psychopathy 心理病態或精神病態
20. attribute (n.) 特性; attribute (v.): https://bit.ly/2E51C9i
21. sadism 虐待狂
22. a propensity to… …的(尤指不良的)傾向,嗜好,癖好
23. inflict(v.) pain 施加痛苦
24. narcissism 自戀
25. an obsession with… 癡迷於…
霸凌者是試圖恫嚇他人者,通常是重複性的,針對他或她認為軟弱或脆弱的對象。 根據心理學家的說法,霸凌者具有四種人格特質,即「黑暗四聯征」 (Dark Tetrad),這些特質經常同時出現:馬基維利主義(Machiavellianism),這是一種為自身利益而計畫性地操縱他人的傾向; 精神病,一種缺乏同情心和甘於犯險的特質; 虐待狂則是指通過使別人痛苦來獲得快樂的傾向; 以及自戀,對自我的迷戀和感覺自己比別人更好。
★★★★★★★★★★★★
They exploit others, doing whatever it takes to feel special. They feel entitled, acting as if the world owes them and should bend to their will. And they lack empathy, often becoming so fixated on the need to feel special that they stop caring about the feelings of others.
26. exploit 利用
27. do whatever it takes to… 為了...會去做任何事情/願意付出一切/不計代價
28. bend to sth 屈從於
29. lack empathy 缺乏同理心
30. fixated on 異常依戀的;固戀的
他們利用他人,用盡手段讓自己感到與眾不同。 他們感到被賦予權力,舉止好似這個世界虧欠他們,應該屈從於他們的意願。 他們缺乏同理心,常過度執著於對與眾不同的需求,以至於他們不再在意他人感受。
★★★★★★★★★★★★
How should you respond to a bully?
First, determine whether you are safe. If not, call security or the police. Document the bully’s behavior. This will help if you need evidence, and it will keep you from doubting yourself. Second, do not engage. Engaging will encourage the bully, who will respond to feeling threatened by attacking more. Third, don’t let the bully take up space in your head. Try to limit how much you think or talk about the person to others. Block the bully on social media. Accept that you’re not going to change the person. Don’t blame yourself.
31. document (v.)…behavior 紀錄…的行為
32. do not engage (v.) 不要與之正面交鋒 ; engage: https://bit.ly/3fW9PKu
33. take up space 佔據空間
34. block (v.) 封鎖 ; block: https://bit.ly/2Y25wH4
那我們該如何應對霸凌者呢?
首先,確定自身是否安全。 若不安全,請致電安全部門或警察。 記錄下霸凌者行為。 如果你需要證據時這將有所幫助,並且可以防止你自我懷疑。第二,不要與之正面交鋒。正面交鋒將會助長霸凌者,他們將以更多的攻擊行為做為感受到威脅的回應。第三,不要讓霸凌者占據你的思緒。試著限制你對霸凌者的思考或談論的程度。 在社交媒體上封鎖霸凌者。要接受你無法改變霸凌者。不要歸責於自己。
★★★★★★★★★★★★
Don’t blame yourself for the actions of a bully. Always seek help.
★★★★★★★★★★★★
📰 華爾街日報訂閱方案: https://bit.ly/39ULVh1
🎓 華爾街日報獎助學金計畫 (A20): https://bit.ly/2C2tUAI
★★★★★★★★★★★★
如何增進同理心: https://bit.ly/34qSKnC
翻轉視界系列文章: https://bit.ly/3fPvKUs
完整報導: https://on.wsj.com/3kHKgjL
圖片出處: https://econ.st/2XYrXgE
lack of empathy 在 Khalil Fong 方大同 Youtube 的精選貼文
#TWIOCAMIC #KhalilFong #FuMusic #賦音樂
"One planet, one people”
「地球子民,世界大同」
? 數位收聽/Stream on:
’TWIOCAMIC‘: https://KhalilFong.lnk.to/
=============================================
無論男女老幼 黑白胖瘦
地球子民 有你也有我
金曲歌王 方大同的終極理想
2020 最新單曲〈TWIOCAMIC〉
一個全人類攜手的世界大同
繼 2014 年的〈Peace〉之後,金曲歌王方大同生涯二度獻上全英文饒舌作品,為全人類的命運做出堅定呼籲。歌名〈TWIOCAMIC〉,原意為「世界僅一國,萬眾皆其民」(The world is one country, and mankind its citizens),是方大同長期信仰的巴哈伊教中心思想。從小時候起,方大同所受的教育讓他認知到自己生活在一個地球村。無論去到何處、認識什麼樣的人,他總是會在彼此身上發現許多共同點,也看到彼此的不同可以互補而完美。另一方面,全世界似乎都有相同的問題,暴力與仇恨不斷重演,偏見割裂了愛和信任。方大同認為這些難關,正是時代給予人類蛻變的契機。
在 2020 年,方大同終於將多年來腦海中一直醞釀著的概念付諸實現,完成了這首〈TWIOCAMIC〉。卸下華麗甜美的旋律和弦,在簡約行軍節拍中以認真口吻娓娓道來,點出「每個人皆獨特,但生而平等」的全曲核心。只要懷抱愛與耐心,人類必能團結合作,邁向真正的世界大同。如同在單曲封面上,象徵不同膚色的大大小小石頭,透過代表下一代的小朋友眼睛看去,是充滿無限希望的美好未來。
"One planet, one people, for true justice”:
Soulful Singer-Songwriter KHALIL FONG Drops Poignant New Hip-Hop Single ‘TWIOCAMIC’ on 7th August 2020
With more than 40 million music streams online, best known for his soulful lyrics and smooth R&B vocals, Chinese-American singer-songwriter Khalil Fong is using his gift to spread a message of unity and progression in his new hip-hop single, ‘TWIOCAMIC’.
“I’ve always identified as a world citizen which lets me see the similarities in all peoples and cultures. I believe the future depends on our children’s ability to see the past, present and future in a new light.” – KHALIL FONG
Produced at Fong’s home in quarantine, ‘TWIOCAMIC’, which stands for ‘The World Is One Country And Mankind Its Citizens’, sees the R&B artist rap philosophically about finding unity in diversity and achieving harmony amongst the human race. Addressing the moral concepts of ‘good’ and ‘bad’, Fong’s lyrics tackle the idea that until people start recognising their collective roles, we’ll continue repeating common historical mistakes:
“I’ve wanted to sing about these concepts for the past five years, but only recently did I have the full inspiration and motivation to complete the idea. The entire world is filled with conflicts and hatred, misunderstandings and lack of empathy. Humanity is facing great social struggles and environmental disasters. Unless we unite in an attitude of fellowship to collectively question things, it will be a challenge to find solutions in time.” – KHALIL FONG
=============================================
Lyrics & Music:Khalil Fong
Produced and arranged by Khalil Fong
Digital Editing by Jeff Li
Mixed by Richard Furch
Mastered by Joe LaPorta
=============================================
Follow Khalil Fong :
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/soulboykhalil...
Weibo: http://www.weibo.com/u/1707679453
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/soulboykhal...
Twitter: https://twitter.com/soulboy_KFONG
Label: Fu Music
Fu Music 賦音樂
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FuMusicAsia/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/FuMusicAsia/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/fumusicasia
Weibo: http://www.weibo.com/u/5927544466
lack of empathy 在 Joanna Soh Official Youtube 的精選貼文
Xandria Ooi is a Happiness Advocate. She creates daily videos to inspire and motivate people to practice a happy and positive mindset with simple, easy-to-understand concepts and reminders. Subscribe to her channel here: https://www.youtube.com/user/xandriaooi
HER Network is NOT SPONSORED. It's an online network by Joanna Soh comprised of strong, passionate and like-minded women, driven by the same vision of wanting to support other women across the world to be the best version of themselves from inside and out.
Her Network is an extension of Joanna’s current YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/user/joannasohofficial SUBSCRIBE for exciting content every Monday, Wednesday and Friday.
"We aim to offer you meaningful content that will continue to add value in your life. The videos will range from health & fitness, food, lifestyle, beauty, fashion, travel, life guide, parenting, and more."
Stay connected and follow us:
HER Network:
https://www.hernetwork.tv
https://www.facebook.com/hernetwork.tv
https://www.instagram.com/hernetwork.tv
XANDRIA OOI
http://xandriaooi.co/
https://www.instagram.com/xandriaooi/
https://www.facebook.com/xandriaooi/
https://www.youtube.com/user/xandriaooi
Joanna Soh
http://joannasoh.com/
https://www.instagram.com/joannasohofficial/
https://www.facebook.com/joannasohofficial/
https://www.youtube.com/user/joannasohofficial
https://twitter.com/Joanna_Soh
________
When we fall in love with someone, it’s because we have things in common. So naturally, our mind’s hooked on to the idea that we’re similar. But, whilst we may have similarities with our partner, we’re extremely different people.
No matter how alike we are on the surface, no matter how much we love each other, it’s extremely important to have the mindset that this person is an individual who comes from a completely different background, upbringing, mindset or even culture.
Because expectations is the cause of most problems in a relationship, and the expectation that we are the same causes disappointment and frustration and resentment when our partner doesn’t get us; but the acknowledgement that we very different people who love each other leads us down the path of patience and seeking to understand even when there’s a disagreement.
The work of any relationship lies in the ability to rise above things that trigger us, that sets us off. It requires more mental practice than simply good intentions, because we can have all the good intentions in the world when we’re in a good mood and things are going well, but the moment we’re frustrated or angry, life-long habits are triggered and we react negatively despite our good intentions.
When we’re in a relationship, we may be in a team, but we’re two very different people on the same team. Whether or not we’re able to adjust to the differences depends on our own mental and emotional capabilities. So working at our relationships means constantly working on ourselves.
Love is amazing, but love isn’t enough in a relationship, because it takes empathy, understanding and a lack of expectations to still be kind and to still be loving even when we’re angry. That’s the work of a relationship, and it’s the kind of work that will pay off both for our own self-development and the quality of our relationship, where we’ll be able to be happy, always.
Outfit by Love Bonito: https://www.lovebonito.com
lack of empathy 在 Signs they lack empathy. - YouTube 的推薦與評價
... <看更多>