《祝福疫情中,正在醫院、加護病房、在輕症旅館與生命博鬥等待不知未來答案的病人》
徐志摩在他的幼兒早夭時,寫下一段話:「你來時是一團活潑,光亮的天真:你去時也還是一個光亮活潑的靈魂。」
純潔天真乃是至大的福祉。「但我們,比你住久的,彼得,卻不是來作客,我們是遭放逐,無形的解差永遠在後背催逼著我們趕路:為什麼受罪?前途是那裡?我們始終不曾明白,我們明白的只是底下流血的脛踝,只是這無恩的長路。」
你們正躺在病床與生命搏鬥。甚至聽聞被政府以比國際較寛鬆標準的病友,死在隔離旅館。空間本來不大,這隔離室內,除了你偌大的呼吸聲,四下很安靜:太靜了!
靜到你一陣昏沈醒來,錯覺自己是在天堂?還是人間。
你會是下一個重症插管病患嗎?
此時你才明白,你並非身體的主人。病毒流竄全身,它成為你的一部分。你祈禱,你恐懼,時間過得比你任何人生階段都慢。你不知道未來,你已斷絕思親的渴望。你甚至感覺不到孤獨,因為太多恐懼,盤旋你的心中,正如病毒感染你的體內。
那裡有一場戰爭,在你的身體裏。
突然你又聽到救護車聲。這棟大樓又多了一個重症病患,他不知道繞過多少醫院,才得到救治。你看到醫護人員全幅武裝帶著一個垂危的軀體,病床推動的滑輪聲音,和你的呼吸聲一樣,迫切,尖銳,那是另一種向上天求救的聲調。
你或許年紀尚輕,這場病像忽然從天上掉下來一朶哭泣的烏雲,佔領你的一切,身體、心靈。
偶爾打開惟一和世界連結的平板電腦,你可能難以置信病房外,社會正在吵著要不要加購短缺的國際疫苗?要不要接受民間捐贈的疫苗?
如果你還有機會,尚未染病,你想跪求任何一個可以免於你陷入今天處境的疫苗,即使疫苗來自「閰羅王」的給予。
只要可以活下來,只要可以不陷入目前處境,你什麼都願意。
如今的你,在社會上以8112,4123⋯⋯的數字存在著。
據說生命最痛苦的莫過於與家人訣別。
你不知道自己的未來:但你明白自己若沒有能力打敗身體中的病毒,你連訣別親人,告訴他們你多麼愛他們,握著他們的手的機會都沒有。
你只有一條路,活下去。
但這未必操之在你自己的努力。
你可能此刻滿心充滿了各種神奇的渴望,或是死象的逃避。軀殼與人間,去年與此刻,樂土與崩潰,回憶與現實,一切太不真實了。
你只能默默在不潔的空氣中,心中跪求,求主垂憐。
今夜我想起了你們,儘管我們未曾相識,我央求好友、台灣在國際樂壇上地位最高的鋼琴家劉孟捷為你們演奏舒曼的「奉獻」。
他曾經在垂死中失去一切,走出來:如今他本來必須進行高風險的心臟手術,但疫情使他必須等待。
開刀的延遲,對他而言也是分分秒秒,日日夜夜的風險。
毎天以他琴音撫慰自己。
這一首是他特別為徘徊生死關頭的你們,和照顧你們的醫療人員演奏。他與他的琴音與你們同在。
我收音拍攝時,流下眼淚。
衷心祝福你們。度過危難。加油💪
劉孟捷手術 在 文茜的世界周報 Sisy's World News Facebook 的精選貼文
《一句話,一首詩.一首劉孟捷演奏夜曲》
* 釋放無限光明的是人心,製造無邊黑暗的也是人心,光明和黑暗交織著,廝殺著,這就是我們為之眷戀而又萬般無奈的人世間。——雨果《悲慘世界》
* 請讓愛神今夜把你驚醒;
讓我的嘆息燃起你的火焰;
可愛的美人,你沈入夢境,
因為沒有愛情,入睡酣然。
不要害怕;在愛情的帝國,
痛苦不像疼痛,難以消除,
一旦戀愛,雖心靈嘆息多,
內心的痛苦能自我滿足。
相思之苦就是讓愛沈寂:
你要不受苦,就對我訴說,
愛神願意這樣不留秘密,
你發抖吧,愛神使你惶惑!
還會忍受更加甜美的創傷?
還會忍受更加美妙的法令?
作為心靈那溫柔的女王,
你的愛神像君主多賢明;
快屈服吧,啊,聖潔的美人,
要順從愛神的威嚴意願;
正當你迷人,你要愛得深,
因為韶光逝去不再回還。
莫里哀(Molière,1622—1673),法國詩人、劇作家。
—-劉孟捷結束5/2《李斯特巡禮之年》公開演奏後,繼續留下來兩天於衛武營錄音。他想在高風險的手術前留下錄音。原本預計彈奏Franck的曲子,他感覺衛武營的音場特別好,尤其低音,於是手指用了更強的力量。結果指甲和手縫處裂開。陪伴他錄音的焦元溥建議他改彈奏比較慢的曲目。或許劉孟捷本來就是一位有著詩意的鋼琴家,或許疾病的折磨,使他更懂得如何細細的看待生活、悲愴,失去,黑暗。他停下來一分鐘後,以裂開的手指,彈奏了一首非常美的夜曲
劉孟捷手術 在 文茜的世界周報 Sisy's World News Facebook 的精選貼文
《我的幸福5/2 週末》
*週日下午兩點誠品信義書店「廿世紀典範人物」新書分享會,我下午二時開始演講,離上次在台灣大學公開演説。快半年了!分享會報名一小時預告已額滿,但TVBS電視台慷慨的支持。派出SNG車,屆時TVBS文茜的世界周報YouTube 及世界周報Facebook 都將同步直播。
*新書分享會後我將直奔高雄衛武營,參加劉孟捷(李斯特巡禮之年)鋼琴獨奏會。這是劉孟捷回台,最重要的一場音樂會,我目睹他用盡了一切心力。過去即使21歲時在費城代打缺席大師的音樂會,劉孟捷都未曾如此緊張。他此次回台,手術前為了沒有遺憾,共舉行三場音樂會:其中4/17與5/30皆是與國家交響樂團NSO合作:530那一場指揮是呂紹嘉。但他告訴我,某些曲目對他而言,是Piece of Cake :惟獨衞武營這一場,曲目由他自己決定,現場錄影,並且找了金曲獎錄音師同步錄音。
5/2衛武營-劉孟捷鋼琴獨奏會《李斯特巡禮之年》購票連結
https://www.opentix.life/event/1384752689074294784
劉夢捷明白他即將面對一個大手術,手術風險之外,他的免疫系統疾病,將使他的康復之路更長。
沒有人可以預知未來,為了圓他的夢,醫院每天都要求他早上、晚上量血壓,報告直接傳給院長。振興醫院院長魏崢雖然是亞洲第一把心臟外科醫師,但也不敢大意。
畢竟這個人的生命那麼脆弱,他的心臟主動脈剝離,那是實質的「心碎」了:但他仍有詩,仍有音樂夢。在生命的交接處,在白日與黑夜的交义口,劉孟捷想為他的音樂生涯,留下最美好的紀錄。
他選擇了李斯特。
在這場音樂會前,他甚至以英文寫下了自己與音樂、疾病的半生回顧:如李斯特的巡禮,有仰望,有沉思,有失落,有幽微的疼痛。他以詩篇般的演奏模式,傾訴,詠嘆。他曾得到天賦,也走過死蔭的幽谷。命運是一層又一層的黑影逼近,老天爺隨時想帶走他。
而他已不再流淚,不再沉浸於悲愴告別:因為對他而言活著並不容易,他要讓自己更深刻的抓住每一分時光之美。
如果時間和空間,正如哲人們所形容的
都是不實際存在的東西:那從不感到衰敗的太陽,也不會比我們了不起多少!
他如艾略特的詩句中所形容的:我們為什麼要如此貪心總在祈禱,想活上整整一個世紀?
蝴蝶雖僅活了一天,已經歷了永恆。
當他的身軀如露水還在藤蔓顫抖時,他送給我們一場「完全浪漫又超技的李斯特」。
等音樂會結束了,至少有一張CD,一段YouTube 影像:不論孟捷代表生命的那朵鮮花是否枯萎,他彈奏如天使的音聲不會飛離,它會停留在那夜,繼續釋放芬芳。
這是盡生命之力、之情獨奏的音樂會。劉孟捷説:這樣當他走進手術室時,會少一點悲傷。
或許快樂的日子本來就不多,但讓這場「完全李斯特.完全劉孟捷」的獨奏會放出神聖的光彩吧!
我必將赴會,不會錯過!我知道此刻的獨奏會,很難複製,因為它綜合了太多的情感、愛念,釋放與生命的抒情。
*劉孟捷為此次獨奏會寫下的文字:This past year has seen some unprecedented changes in the world. Many lives have been lost and many have changed. The world has changed while many of us confront the uncertainty of the future.
For most musicians, life has changed. For months, we have been conducting our lessons online, and concerts have mostly stopped or become an online experience as well. More time has been spent learning how to improve the online teaching experience than one could have imagined. While I have felt the duty to continue teaching, the format the pandemic requires for teaching leaves me unwilling to spend more time than I have to.
And truly, I have had other things to deal with. When the pandemic started to worry the American public in March, I was in the middle of a tour with the String Quartet-in-Residence at Curtis, the Vera Quartet. However, our concerts were canceled, and everything came to a sudden halt.
I felt the universe had sent me an unexpected gift, as I had also just received some terrible news concerning my worsening aortic arches and a diagnosis of kidney cancer. The sudden halt in my professional schedule seemed perfect in its timing. I was able to settle into a monastic existence, to simply practice and attempt to heal.
I see many musicians itching to be concertizing again, and many stepped into new territory, performing on the internet. Many took time to develop new podcasts, and to write new materials for their art. Sadly, many have struggled as they have fallen into desperation without any concert incomes. Altogether the music industry seems to be in peril, and many worry about how music and musicians will survive.
However, I had my own survival to think about. Having been through many difficult experiences in my life, I knew this might be the most difficult I would encounter. My Doctors describe me as a walking time bomb. My condition could be lethal at any moment if my blood pressure gets out of control. So while others wrestle with the fate of the music industry, I’ve needed to face my own fate and mortality.
Playing concerts can mean many things to people. At different times throughout my life, I’ve felt the need to express different aspects of myself. When I was young, I wanted to embody the spirit of romanticism, playing lots of Chopin and Schumann. Then there was a period of time when I wanted to challenge myself by showing off pyrotechnics. I had a brooding period where I turned to the pathos of Rachmaninoff, and then felt the need to return to the purity of Schubert and nobility of Brahms. Throughout this pandemic, I wanted to play Bach. Through Bach’s music I found a kind of spiritual sanctuary.
In considering the program for this concert, I felt again the urge to play music that reflects my current feelings and state of mind. The title of today’s recital, “Years of Pilgrimage” seems to fit exactly what I am experiencing.
Liszt wrote several volumes of “Années de pèlerinage” throughout his life to reflect on thoughts he had during his travels. He links his philosophical thoughts to the scenery which inspired them. “Au Bord d’un Source” describes feelings of rejuvenation while standing next to a clear stream of water, a symbol and source of life and energy. It seems to say, when the stream is so pure, life can be so full of joy.
In the Les jeux d'eaux à la Villa d'Este (The Fountains of the Villa d'Este), the water has a magical and supernatural quality, as Liszt himself wrote in the inscription: "But the water that I shall give him shall become in him a well of water springing up into eternal life,"( from the Gospel of John.)
For me, I have never felt more connected to Liszt than when he looked upon the valley of Obermann and questioned the meaning of existence. At this moment in my life, I often find myself reflecting my experiences of what I see and read into philosophical musings. Perhaps many people come to a time when this is so.
In all this I have felt gratitude for the love stories and sonnets that one can romantically indulge in, and for storms so violent that they threaten to destroy one’s spirit, even the hell-bound journey which brings up questions about the purpose of life…
On this journey, I felt full and alive as a human being. Looking back on this journey, I am grateful for everything, whether happy or sad, to have made an impact, found and imparted meaning to this life.
The unusual time of this pandemic has marked a milestone for me. I have journeyed back home, and as it happened, this is the first time I have spent so much time in my hometown Kaohsiung in over 35 years. It’s particularly nostalgic to play these pieces as some of them were significant in my early musical career. Vallée d’Obermann was the piece I played in my first competition at the junior high school level, in which I won first prize on the national level, which allowed me to be qualified to apply for a special permission to study abroad. This meant my dream to be educated as a musician could be continued in an environment where I could develop fully. In the following year when I was 13, I won the first Asia-Pacific Youth PIano Competition with the Dante Sonata. The competition catapulted me into national attention as I was headlined in several newspapers, and especially since it was held in Kaohsiung, I became a local hero as well. During the same event, I had a fateful meeting with one of the important influences in my life, Mr. Gary Graffman, who then mentored me throughout not only the years when I was studying at Curtis, but throughout my illness and recovery as a pianist. Right before I departed to study in Philadelphia, I played my first solo recital throughout Taiwan, and along with the Dante Sonata, I also performed the three sonnets.
It’s perfect that now, back in Kaohsiung, all these memories have flooded back into my head. I feel so lucky to have been born here, and to have met my first teacher, Chin-Li Lee, who inspired me on the path to become a musician. Prof. Alexander Sung filled me with dreams of becoming an artist. I am grateful for his belief in my talent, when he chose to give a 12 year old such philosophical pieces to play.
Having once again spent some months in Kaohsiung, I can freshly appreciate the source of inspiration it once was for me. I have returned to the source to heal. Having already glimpsed hell’s gate several times, battered and weathered by the storms of life, I know there is a reason life is this way, and it all will be alright.
Meng-Chieh Liu
April, 2021
*劉孟捷衛武營《李斯特巡禮之年》演奏會中,包括李斯特以佩脫拉克三首情詩譜寫的鋼琴琴詩:這三首情詩是從大詩人佩脫拉克一百多首情詩挑出來的,詩本身就很優美,依此激發李斯特的浪漫主義創作靈感,成為琴藝上最困難演奏,但也特別細膩溫柔的琴詩。
這三首分別是:
〈佩脫拉克第47號十四行詩〉〈佩脫拉克第104號十四行詩〉及〈佩脫拉克第123號十四行詩〉。
Franz Liszt(1811-1886): Sonetto 47 del Petrarca, Sonetto 104 del Petrarca, Sonetto 123 del Petrarca, from Années de pèlerinage, Deuxième année: Italie
李斯特於1846年先出版藝術歌曲《三首佩脫拉克十四行詩》(Tre sonetti del Petrarca),再改成鋼琴獨奏版。
三首佩脫拉克十四行詩
中譯:焦元溥(元溥也是友情贊助,特別準備音樂資料,周日南下,聆賞劉孟捷的樂曲,並且陪同他盯著錄音共三天)
〈第47〉
祝福每天、每月、每年,
所有片刻與鐘點、時間與季節,
在那美麗的原野,
我為一雙眼眸魂縈夢牽。
祝福初遇時的甜,
與愛同在、受苦不停歇,
如弓箭刺穿令我淌血,
傷口永留感動在我心間。
祝福一切我發出的聲音,
當呼喚著我深愛的女郎,
渴望、嘆息、淚濕滿襟。
祝福我寫下的文字遠揚,
歌頌她的芳名,萬古長新。
我心永屬於她,無人能闖。
〈第104〉
我找不到和平,也無意打仗,
我恐懼、我期望,燃燒又冰透。
我向天飛升,卻躺在地上,
我一無所有,卻又擁抱整個宇宙。
我身陷囹圄,監牢又開敞;
我不受囚禁,卻銬著鎖頭。
愛情不讓我死,也不讓我飛翔;
不要我活,也不准我逃離悲愁。
欲看卻無眼,啞口還在發言,
我甘心殞滅,卻仍高聲呼救,
我痛恨自己,但仍愛著他人。
憂傷滋潤我,淚水伴隨笑臉,
生命不足惜,死亡也不煩憂;
我淪落至此,都是妳啊,我的愛人!
〈第123〉
我在塵世見到仙子的美,
她天堂般優雅無與倫比。
想起她讓我悲傷又歡喜,
所見如幻夢迷霧與幽黑。
妳的可愛眼睛使我落淚,
多少次讓太陽也要妒忌。
我還聽到四周發出嘆息,
移動了山嶽停止了河水。
愛情智慧憐憫憂傷財富,
在淚水中形成甜美聲響,
奇妙和諧世上未曾目睹。
天堂追隨著音樂的流淌,
雖然枝上樹葉並未飛舞,
空氣與風息卻充滿芬芳。
5/2衛武營-劉孟捷鋼琴獨奏會《李斯特巡禮之年》購票連結
https://www.opentix.life/event/1384752689074294784